Since my girls could walk, when they would go outside to play, I’d open that door and say, “Go- Be Free and Wild!” And off exploring they’d run. Gathering nature’s objects to create with, playing hide-n-seek, splashing in our little crick. Always collapsing into bed at night, tired, ready to dream. I realize I say the same thing to my pets- I open the door, and they speed off chasing a squirrel or bird, always hopeful for a catch but I know it’s more about the chase. So why when Luna jumps the fence repeatedly to go be free and wild into the bigger world outside of the safe fence (to play with a skunk!) is it frustrating and alarming. After all, she is doing what I suggested! And when my girls excitedly moved to different coasts or chose to stay and explore, is it hard not to wish them back to the good old days, when they played free and wild together, safely in the backyard? Since getting my FAP colorectal cancer diagnosis almost 10 years ago, sometimes I feel that my go- be free and wild mentality got up and ran, never looking back for me. Sure, I stay active, even trying tap dancing (which is way harder and physically demanding than I expected!) thanks to my dear friend Dahnielle. But I want the spontaneity to come back, I want to jump the fence and be free and wild, not thinking about genetic syndromes that chase me. And I’m determined to make this happen. Maybe when the temp is above 40! Today, I encourage everyone Go- be free and wild!
Mom & Me & F.A.P. 
I love the spirit of this post. I am the mom of a special needs adult who was diagnosed with FAP/Gardner’s syndrome almost 5 years ago now; the first in our family. Her diagnosis and proctocolectomy a couple months later, solved some questions and connected a whole plethora of diagnoses which turned out to be all connected rather than the confusing array of discreet, rare health events that they seemed to be before her diagnosis, but it also turned our world on its axis. There is definitely a sense of before and after and the coming to terms with a life long, life altering progressive disease. The pandemic has only added to the shift from wild and free to protective and insular, but like many, we are feeling the cost of playing it “safe”. Striving for a little more play, a little more light, a little more joy and the courage to yell, “Go be wild and free”.
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Wow Michelle- you’ve had a time of it for sure. How is your daughter handling all of this change? Do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to- this journey can have some twists and turns to navigate and it would be helpful to have an unbiased ear. Best to you and your daughter!
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